Coffee Wench

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Editor’s Note: The following bio is reprinted from Luke Chueh’s website.

Born in Philadelphia, but raised in Fresno, Luke Chueh (pronounced CHU) studied graphic design at California Polytechnic State University, San Luis Obipso where he earned a BS in Art & Design (Graphic Design concentration). He was employed by the Ernie Ball Company, working in-house as designer/illustrator where he created several award winning designs and was featured in the design annuals of Communication Arts and Print Magazine. Meanwhile, he also created, produced, wrote, designed, edited and published “E.X.P.”, a ‘zine dedicated to the “Intelligent Dance Music (IDM)” genre.

In 2003, Chueh moved to Los Angeles to further pursue a career in design. However, a lack of employment opportunities left him resorting to painting as a way to keep busy (a hobby he picked up while attending Cal Poly). He got his start when the Los Angeles underground art show, Cannibal Flower, invited him to show at their monthly events. Since then Chueh has quickly worked his way up the ranks of the LA art scene, establishing himself as an artist not to be ignored. Employing minimal color schemes, simple animal characters, and a seemingly endless list of ill-fated situations, Chueh stylistically balances cute with brute, walking the fine line between comedy and tragedy. Chueh’s work has been featured in galleries around the world, and some of his paitnings have also been reinterpreted into vinyl toys.

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Editor’s Note: Excerpt from CNET News

The Columbia Pictures film itself will be released in the U.S. on Oct. 1 following a premiere at the New York Film Festival a week earlier, and it will feature a score by Nine Inch Nails’ Trent Reznor. Reznor said earlier this month of “The Social Network” that “it’s really f***ing good. And dark!” The trailer certainly supports that characterization.

How’s this for apocalyptic literature. This was written by a pastor’s wife in biblical prose as a commentary of current events.
It is brilliant.

And it came to pass in the Age of Insanity that the people of the land
called America , having lost their morals, their initiative, and their
will to defend their liberties, chose as their Supreme Leader that
person known as “The One.”

He emerged from the vapors with a message that had no meaning; but He
hypnotized the people telling them, “I am sent to save you.” My lack
of experience, my questionable ethics, my monstrous ego, and my
association with evil doers are of no consequence. I shall save you
with hope and Change. Go, therefore, and proclaim throughout the
land that he who proceeded me is evil, that he has defiled the nation,
and that all he has built must be destroyed. And the people rejoiced,
for even though they knew not what “The One” would do, he had promised
that it was good; and they believed. And “The One” said ” We live in
the greatest country in the world. Help me change everything about it!”
And the people said, “Hallelujah! Change is good!”
Then He said, “We are going to tax the rich fat-cats.” And the
people said “Sock it to them!” “And redistribute their wealth.” And
the people said, “Show us the money!” And the he said, ”
redistribution of wealth is good for everybody..”

And Joe the plumber asked, ” Are you kidding me? You’re going to
steal my money and give it to the deadbeats??” And “The One”
ridiculed and taunted him, and Joe’s personal records were hacked and publicized.
One lone reporter asked, “Isn’t that Marxist policy?” And she was
banished from the kingdom.

Then a citizen asked, “With no foreign relations experience and
having zero military experience or knowledge, how will you deal with
radical terrorists?” And “The One” said, “Simple. I shall sit with
them and talk with them and show them how nice we really are; and they
will forget that they ever wanted to kill us all!” And the people
said, “Hallelujah!! We are safe at last, and we can beat our weapons
into free cars for the people!”

Then “The One” said “I shall give 95% of you lower taxes..” And one,
lone voice said, “But 40% of us don’t pay ANY taxes.” So “The One”
said, “Then I shall give you some of the taxes the fat-cats pay!”
And the people said, “Hallelujah! Show us the money!”
Then “The One” said, “I shall tax your Capital Gains when you sell
your homes!” And the people yawned and the slumping housing market
collapsed. And He said. “I shall mandate employer-funded health care
for every worker and raise the minimum wage. And I shall give every
person unlimited healthcare and medicine and transportation to the
clinics.” And the people said, “Give me some of that!”
Then he said, “I shall penalize employers who ship jobs overseas.”
And the people said, “Where’s my rebate check?”

Then “The One” said, “I shall bankrupt the coal industry and
electricity rates will skyrocket!” And the people said, “Coal is
dirty, coal is evil, no more coal! But we don’t care for that part
about higher electric rates.” So “The One” said, Not to worry. If
your rebate isn’t enough to cover your expenses, we shall bail you out.
Just sign up with the ACORN and you troubles are over!”

Then He said, “Illegal immigrants feel scorned and slighted. Let’s
grant them amnesty, Social Security, free education, free lunches,
free medical care, bi-lingual signs and guaranteed housing…” And
the people said, “Hallelujah!” and they made him king!

And so it came to pass that employers, facing spiraling costs and
ever-higher taxes, raised their prices and laid off workers. Others
simply gave up and went out of business and the economy sank like unto
a rock dropped from a cliff.
The bank banking industry was destroyed. Manufacturing slowed to a
crawl. And more of the people were without a means of support.

Then “The One” said, “I am the “the One”- The Messiah – and I’m here
to save you! We shall just print more money so everyone will have
enough!” But our foreign trading partners said unto Him. “Wait a
minute. Your dollar is not worth a pile of camel dung! You will have
to pay more… And “The One” said, “Wait a minute. That is
unfair!!” And the world said, “Neither are these other idiotic
programs you have embraced. Lo, you have become a Socialist state and
a second-rate power. Now you shall play by our rules!”

And the people cried out, “Alas, alas!! What have we done?” But yea
verily, it was too late. The people set upon The One and spat upon
him and stoned him, and his name was dung. And the once mighty nation
was no more; and the once proud people were without sustenance or
shelter or hope. And the Change “The One” had given them was as like
unto a poison that had destroyed them and like a whirlwind that
consumed all that they had built.

And the people beat their chests in despair and cried out in anguish,
“give us back our nation and our pride and our hope!!” But it was too
late, and their homeland was no more.

You may think this a fairy tale, but it’s not.
It’s happening RIGHT NOW

Yeah, this is too true to be funny..  Tragic, but not funny; tragic but true.

Editor’s Note: The following bio is reprinted from Aesthetic Apparatus.

OFFICIAL AESTHETIC APPARATUS BIOGRAPHY

Aesthetic Apparatus took seed when Dan Ibarra & Michael Byzewski first met in 1998 as designers at Planet Propaganda (formerly Planet Design Company) in Madison, Wisconsin. Combining their mutual interest in printmaking and music, the two began to build a groundwork of limited edition hand-printed concert posters that would gain them enough recognition nationally and internationally to convince them in 2002 to uproot to the twin cities and turn their measly late-night beer-fueled hobby into a full-time graphic design studio. As a fully-functioning studio — able to handle a full spectrum of design projects along with the posters they love so much — Aesthetic Apparatus has created work for clients such as Blue Q, Stella Artois, Harper Collins, American Cancer Society and Criterion Collection as well as bands such as Cake, Frank Black, Spoon, The Hold Steady, The New Pornographers, Dinosaur Jr, Grizzly Bear and more. Their work has been featured in Print, Step Into Design, Communication Arts, Creative Review, HOW, Print, Rolling Stone, Swindle, Jane Magazine, Readymade Magazine along with handfuls of design book publications and the recent Chronicle Books rock art bible “The Art of Modern Rock.”

UN-OFFICIAL (BUT BETTER) AESTHETIC APPARATUS BIO

Often considered Minneapolis’ best totally unknown design super team, Aesthetic Apparatus was founded around 1999 in Madison, Wisconsin by Dan Ibarra and Michael Byzewski as a fun side project from their “real” jobs. Over the years their limited edition, screen printed concert posters have secretly snuck into the hearts and minds of a small, rather silent group of socially awkward music and design nerds. Now, Aesthetic Apparatus is a full time, full-fledged, insanely unstoppable, and occasionally award winning design mega-studio. They will break your heart and drink your blood.

A teenage boy had just passed his driving test and inquired of his father as to when they could discuss his use of the car.

His father said he’d make a deal with his son: ‘You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut. Then we’ll talk about the car.’
The boy thought about that for a moment, decided he’d settle for the offer, and they agreed on it.

After about six weeks his father said, ‘Son, you’ve brought your grades up and I’ve observed that you have been studying your Bible, but I’m disappointed you haven’t had your hair cut.
The boy said, ‘You know, Dad, I’ve been thinking about that, and I’ve noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair…and there’s even strong evidence that Jesus had long hair.’

To this his father replied, ‘Did you also notice they walked everywhere they went?’